“Tired” isn’t even a temporary state for me anymore it’s more like a part of my personality at this point.life
Nothing says’ I love my dog’ quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own.animallovemoney
Law professor: “You’re currently failing your ethics class.” Me: *slides a $20 across the desk* “How about now.”moneysarcasticschool
My wife is going to qualify for free shipping no matter how much it costs.marriagemoneysarcasticwomen
When you were born your mom said: “It’s a treasure.” Dad said: “Ya let’s bury.”birthdayfamilyinsultskidssarcastic
What do pregnant teenagers and their babies have in common? They both think,”My moms gonna kill me”.attitudedeathkidsrudesarcastic
Why are birthday’s good for you? Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!birthdaylife
Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.ITkidslife
