My ex and I had a very amicable divorce. I know this because when I wrote the Facebook status “I’m getting a divorce,” he was the first one to click Like.attitudecommunicationITmarriagesarcastic
Here, you can always find a party. Where I come from, the Party can always find you.attitudelifepeople
You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back.doctorinsultsugly
Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.alcohollifemotivational
I went on a date with a blonde woman last night. “Do you have any kids?” she asked. “Yes,” I replied. “I have one child that’s just under two.” She said, “I might be blonde, but I know how many one is.”blondeintelligencelove
Just called to make an appointment with a psychic but she told me that I don’t show up.communicationdoctorhealthmistakepuns
