onelinersYesterday at 5:58 pmI saw my dad chopping up onions today and I cried. Onions was a good dog.
onelinersYesterday at 1:00 amOptimist: It’s only 7 o’ clock. Pessimist: It’s already 7 o’ clock. Feminist: The clock is being raped.
oneliners4 Feb at 2:58 amDon’t feed the animals at the zoo! You should better feed the security guard!
oneliners1 Feb at 11:01 pmLife is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.
oneliners1 Feb at 4:00 pmWhat should you do if you come across an elephant? Apologize and wipe it off.