onelinersYesterday at 8:00 pmIf you see me smiling it’s because I’m thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it’s because I’ve already done it.
onelinersYesterday at 12:58 pmDespite my specific instructions, no one that has listened to my voicemail has left me a massage after the beep.
oneliners4 Feb at 1:59 pmTHANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
