onelinersYesterday at 3:58 pmSubway is definitely the healthiest fast food available because they make you get out of the car.
oneliners2 Feb at 6:59 pmCop: “Have you been out drinking?” Me: “Uh yeah, I’m 28, I’ve been out drinking literally hundreds of times.”
oneliners1 Feb at 12:00 pmMy wife had her driver’s test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
oneliners21 Jan at 11:58 amI didn’t realize how bad of a driver I was until my sat nav said, “In 400 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out.”
oneliners17 Jan at 5:02 pmWhy did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? He couldn’t afford plane fare.
oneliners15 Jan at 3:00 amLast Father’s Day my son gave me something I always wanted: the keys to my car.
oneliners13 Jan at 1:00 amTwo fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”
