oneliners3 Feb at 8:00 amI can’t cut an onion because it makes me cry. My grandma died cutting an onion.
oneliners2 Feb at 2:59 pmThe doctor hands me the baby and tells me my wife didn’t make it. So I politely return the baby and ask for the one my wife made.
oneliners2 Feb at 5:59 amA tree house is the biggest insult to a tree. “Here, I killed your friend. Hold him.”
oneliners2 Feb at 4:00 amWhat do pregnant teenagers and their babies have in common? They both think,”My moms gonna kill me”.
oneliners1 Feb at 5:59 pmI’ve never understood how the Nazis couldn’t find where Anne Frank was hiding. I’ve been to Amsterdam… There are signs pointing to her house everywhere.
oneliners28 Jan at 4:59 pmYou know that person that always have to be right and have the last word? Shoot them!