onelinersYesterday at 5:58 pmI saw my dad chopping up onions today and I cried. Onions was a good dog.
oneliners3 Feb at 8:00 amI can’t cut an onion because it makes me cry. My grandma died cutting an onion.
oneliners3 Feb at 1:00 amTeacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?” Student: “My father’s check book!”
oneliners28 Jan at 5:00 amAnyone who wanted to sell fish had to get permission from grandpa. He was known as the cod father.
oneliners26 Jan at 5:59 amEvery morning before school mom would give me 8 quarters for lunch… and every evening I’d sit on the toilet trying to pass them.
oneliners25 Jan at 10:58 amMy dad never seemed to see the irony in calling me a son of a bitch he does it every day.
oneliners21 Jan at 9:58 pmHow many more times are my kids going to ask me if I know where something is before they realize they’re asking the wrong parent?
