oneliners14 Feb at 10:00 pmYou know she loves you when she picks your nose. How much is determined by whether she gives it to you or eats it herself.
oneliners13 Feb at 4:00 pmSo, after beating the crap out of the nerdy kid in my class who always gets things right, I returned to the front of the classroom and resumed teaching.
oneliners7 Feb at 3:58 amHow many tennis players does it take to screw in a light bulb? “What do you mean it was out, it was in!”
oneliners5 Feb at 1:59 amMy ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.
oneliners30 Jan at 1:58 pmLove’s a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage.
oneliners25 Dec 2022Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because the octopus was well armed.
