flirty

oneliners

3 hours ago

How do you pick up a Jewish chick. With a dust pan.

oneliners

2 Oct at 3:01 am

Are you the square root of -1? Because you can’t be real.

oneliners

1 Oct at 3:58 pm

Baby, you’ve bought yourself a cruise on the Love Boat. I’ll be your captain.

oneliners

1 Oct at 5:58 am

Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate? She was on a crash diet!

oneliners

30 Sep at 5:04 am

Are you Vietnamese? Cause I’m falling pho you.

oneliners

24 Sep at 9:58 am

You have the nicest syntax I’ve ever seen.

oneliners

22 Sep at 10:02 am

I didn’t know angels could fly so low.

oneliners

21 Sep at 5:02 pm

Santa’s lap isn’t the only place wishes come true.

oneliners

21 Sep at 3:00 am

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall… is in love with me.

oneliners

18 Sep at 4:58 pm

“Hi, I’m writing a phone book, can I have your number?”