oneliners12 Mar at 9:59 pmThere are good cheese puns and bad cheese puns. Between them, there’s a gruyerea.
oneliners10 Mar at 9:00 amEntered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
oneliners9 Mar at 7:58 amWhenever my wife packs me a salad for lunch all I wanna know is what I did wrong.
oneliners9 Mar at 6:58 amJust burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
oneliners5 Mar at 11:59 pmLife is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have the less shit you have to eat.
oneliners5 Mar at 9:59 pmYo hair so greasy, that you can survive off the fried chicken in food shortage.
