oneliners1 Feb at 3:00 pmMy voicemail message is just instructions on how to send a text message with brief pauses filled with heavy sighing.
oneliners31 Jan at 8:00 pmKyle: “Dude, why is my netflix DVD out in the snow?” Ben: “Well, I heard the coolest thing on the internet right now is netflix and CHILL!”
oneliners31 Jan at 6:59 pmSon, when I was your age there was no social media. You had to go to a bar and buy endless drinks to be ignored by multiple women.
oneliners31 Jan at 9:59 amHow do we not know what women want yet? There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.
oneliners28 Jan at 12:00 amYou can tell a girl likes you if she stares at your phone instead of her own.
oneliners26 Jan at 7:10 pmAre you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware.
