oneliners56 mins agoHow many tennis players does it take to screw in a light bulb? “What do you mean it was out, it was in!”
oneliners3 Feb at 3:59 amAny married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
oneliners31 Jan at 7:58 amI’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I’ll start calling them traditions.
oneliners24 Jan at 5:58 amThe recipe said “Set the oven to 180 degrees” so I did, but now I can’t open it because the door faces the wall.
oneliners22 Jan at 2:59 amI got fired as an estate agent the other day. It was for selling the wrong type of semi.
oneliners16 Jan at 10:59 amI thought my son would like that I bought him a trampoline, but oh no, he just wants to sit and cry in his wheelchair.
oneliners4 Jan at 6:58 pmSome of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.