oneliners9 mins agoDear alma mater, please don’t send wealth management workshop invites to those of us who majored in creative writing.
oneliners15 Sep at 7:00 amIf I ever find out the name of the surgeon that screwed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him… with my bear hands.
oneliners12 Sep at 6:59 pmI am so old I can tell the same joke on facebook every day. Some of my friends are so old, they will think it is a new joke every day.
oneliners29 Aug at 9:00 amI tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he’s still making fun of me.
oneliners28 Aug at 8:58 amWhy do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? Because they don’t want to be mistaken as feminists.
oneliners26 Aug at 8:01 pmMarriage is mostly misreading facial expressions and asking each other, “You ok?”
