onelinersYesterday at 7:03 pmI made dinner reservations for my wife’s birthday and told the host there’s an extra $20 for the bartenders if they card her.
oneliners23 Sep at 11:59 amWhat do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
oneliners22 Sep at 6:01 pmPeople who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
oneliners20 Sep at 9:02 pmMy girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back.
oneliners20 Sep at 4:03 pmI’ve spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer, but no one will do it.
oneliners20 Sep at 12:00 amSon: “What’s an inheritance?” Me: “Nothing you need to be concerned with.”
