oneliners25 Jan at 8:00 amAnd the Lord said unto John, “come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
oneliners24 Jan at 12:04 pmMy wife was furious at me for kicking dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator. But now it’s just water under the fridge.
oneliners31 Dec 2022Marriage is all about compromise. For example, today I agreed to never sit in certain chairs in exchange for one chair I can sleep in.
oneliners26 Dec 2022It’s officially New Year’s Eve, you only have a couple of hours to do all the things you will resolve not to do in the new year.
oneliners19 Dec 2022The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.
