oneliners13 Mar at 10:58 amKids, stay in school and get a good degree so you can spend 40% of your life on conference calls.
oneliners11 Mar at 11:59 pmIn my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people.
oneliners9 Mar at 4:58 amI was an hour late for my train today, but luckily when I reached the station, it was still there… The people must have wondered, “Where the fuck is the driver?”
oneliners8 Mar at 2:00 pmWhy were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
oneliners8 Mar at 7:00 amMy nephew found a cassette tape in my house. It was like watching early man discovered fire.
oneliners4 Mar at 9:59 amToday, my son asked “Can I have a book mark?” and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
oneliners3 Mar at 8:59 amI thought I was just really tired but it’s been 5 years so I guess this is how I look now.
