Valentines

oneliners

23 Sep at 6:04 am

What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? February 14th.

oneliners

22 Sep at 10:02 am

I didn’t know angels could fly so low.

oneliners

21 Sep at 5:02 pm

Santa’s lap isn’t the only place wishes come true.

oneliners

21 Sep at 11:58 am

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

oneliners

17 Sep at 12:59 pm

What did the light bulb say to the switch? “You turn me on.”

oneliners

17 Sep at 2:58 am

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!

oneliners

7 Sep at 8:59 am

What happened when the two angels got married? They lived harpily ever after!

oneliners

22 Aug at 9:00 am

What did the painter say to her boyfriend? “I love you with all my art!”

oneliners

21 Aug at 5:58 am

Dear men, “I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day” is the same as “I’m fine.” You’re welcome.

oneliners

15 Aug at 5:58 pm

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? “I love you a ton!”